FLASH: 5am. London. I finally decide to get up after a sleepless night. I have been restless, deeply troubled. It is as if I know all is not well with the world. I am right.
I go downstairs and see a blue light flashing. My mobile. A text. “I won…”.
The “I” is Piers Morgan. The “won” is The Celebrity Apprentice in America.
Unbloodybelievable.
I text back and then the call comes . . .
m/f!